Category Archives: Musings

My Five Favorite Ways to get Children’s Clothes (a.k.a. How I Clothe My Kids for Little to No Money)

After the heaviness of recent posts on depression and grieving (not including the kindle article, that was supposed to be humor), I figured it was high time to move on to something light and fluffy around here. Thus I present these two cuties:

Although upon further reflection of my extensive experience carrying them around, I must say they are neither light nor fluffy.

Here they are dressed in their Sunday best. These days I hear so many people and news articles commenting on how expensive kids are. In many regards they are right, but there are always strategies for how to cut costs, it just takes some creativity.

For me, I like to start from a principle of only having as many items of clothes as my kids could reasonably wear in two weeks (with extra bottoms factored in for when we are potty training). In addition to limiting purchasing, this also gives the added benefit of incentive to do laundry every 7-10 days to stay on top of things! I also limit each kid to around three pairs of shoes: sandals/winter boots, sneakers, dress shoes.

Using these guidelines as a starting point I make a list of how many and what types of items my kids will need. For example Sammy’s summer wardrobe could consist of something like: 8- 10 short sleeve shirts/ polos, 2 button down dress shirts, other dressy clothes like vests, bow-ties, suit jacket, 2 long sleeve shirts, 7 shorts, 10 pants, swimsuit, light jacket, sandals, sneakers, and dress shoes. All of the bottoms more or less co-ordinate with all of the tops so that he can get himself dressed without looking too . . . creative.

Here I present my five favorite ways to clothe my kids for little to no money:

1. Gifts/ Hand-Me-Downs – So it goes without saying that when trying to save money on children’s clothing the best place to start is free. We have been fortunate to have friends who have passed on a lot of really good quality hand-me-downs. I make note of what we need in my home management binder so that I can refer to it, instead of having to climb up to the attic every time I need to see if we need any size nine month boys jeans, for example.

2. Yard Sales- These have the lowest prices for clothes, but can be hit and miss. You can get a bunch of Gymboree clothes in great condition for 50 cents a piece, or you can invest a lot of time running around to different sales and find nothing. If you enjoy the thrill of the hunt (and are looking for a bunch of other things, like housewares) this route is worth while, if you don’t then skip it. This approach is great for getting clothes and shoes for upcoming seasons to fill in the gaps from your hand-me-downs.

3. Thrift/ Consignment Stores- Thrift stores usually have cheaper prices, but consignment stores usually have better quality. In general I favor consignment, but I do a bit of both.

4. ThredUp- Basically an online consignment store. I have gotten both of my kids new swimsuits with tags for less than 10 bucks with shipping. The best part? They offer referral credit! If you click on this link you can get ten dollars to do a little shopping of your own. In the interest of full disclosure, if you use this link and end up getting something with the credit, I also get $10. I love their service enough that I would send referral links even without the credit. It makes me feel like some big philanthropist giving away “free” money. Everybody gets $10!

5. Retail Stores- My least favorite option, not just because it is usually the most expensive, but because for me it usually involves shopping with kids *shudders at thought.* Also, I have the misfortune of living in a town where the only retail option I like is Target, though they do have cute kids clothes. While you can get brand new clothes on huge clearance with retail (I have friends who are seriously good at it) I personally don’t care for this option as it often requires some advanced planning around sale events. I prefer going with options where I know I can find like new clothes for at least 60% off all the time, no need to plan around sales.

My handsome little man: dress shirt and pants were gifts; seersucker suit jacket- 50c at a yard sale; Calvin Klein vest and dress shoes- $5 from Consignment Store; Bowtie- Gymboree bought new for $3. Total spent on outfit: $8.50. Sweet!

Jenny wrote a great post recently in which she talked about how she purged her kids wardrobes when she “Kondoed” her house. She has been loving this system and I believe using less clothes per kid than I do.

Also Kendra wrote this post last month where she showed her Tween girl’s capsule wardrobe. This wardrobe includes more pieces than I do and is for an older child, so you can see a different approach. It made me look forward to mommy daughter shopping trips when Ana gets older.

Thats all for today, linking up with the lovely Jenna at callherhappy.com, for 5 Favorites!

What are your favorite tips for clothing your kids on the cheap? Let me know in the comments!

Requiem for a Kindle

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Goodbye my friend, it was good knowing you.

1. Ok, so maybe I am being more than a tad melodramatic. But as you longtime readers here know, I had a very close relationship with my kindle. It was a learning tool, a sanity saver, and my book therapy. And now it has bitten the dust.

2. Er, I suppose bitten the floor would be a more accurate phrase. Said floor biting came courtesy of my almost two year old. As near as I can figure she saw that mommy was stressed out while Sammy was puking yesterday and thought that I needed to de-stress with a good read. Sadly she dropped the kindle a few times on the way to bringing it to me.

The culprit, caught red, er yogurt handed doing time in the tub after a separate infraction.

3. Today I spent probably 40+ minutes on the phone with Amazon spread out over 3 calls and 5 different technicians. I was hoping against hope that they could help me fix it or could offer me a discount on a refurbished model, but alas no luck.

4. Instead I spent the time assuring each of the different technicians that, yes I had tried turning it on and off again, and yes I had tried plugging it in, and yes I had tried resetting it, and that it was still unresponsive. By the time I got to the last technician my end of the conversation went something like this in reverse:

5. Now I am looking on e-bay, all of craigslist (http://www.searchcraigslist.org/), and amazon for a kindle. In the meantime the kindle app on my phone is having to pick up the slack. Talk about first world problems.

6. Ironically I was just about to post a rave review of Overdrive after I discovered it at my library. Free borrowing of e-books! I am in heaven. My trips to the library don’t involve enough time without toddler wrangling to be able to select books from the adult section (by which I mean not-childrens section), so e-books have been a lifesaver. Getting them for free makes it even better! I just finished up an awesome book by Brene Brown through Overdrive.

7. Very consistently google search keywords of: half, kindle, screen, show up on in the top ten search phrases that lead people to this blog. Needless to say they usually don’t find what they are looking for. Today said searchers may not have constructive tech advice, but they do have my sympathy.

Linking up with Kelly of thisaintthelyceum.com for 7 Quick Takes. Happy Friday everyone!

Atheist Wizards, Desperate Mothers, and Dead Mockingbirds, (A.K.A. What I’ve Been Reading Lately)

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So many books, so little time to write about them! Here are some of the highlights of the past few months.

HARRY POTTER AND THE METHODS OF RATIONALITY

By Eliezer Yudkowsky

After posting my review of the final two Harry Potter books last fall, a friend challenged me to read this quite lengthly spin off. I would say that the most accurate description is that of atheist, Mary Sue, parallel universe, fan fiction. That being said, the plot is engaging, and kept me rapidly page turning despite its many flaws. The best parts are when it stays close to its source material, while still poking fun at it (I’ve gotta agree its hard to see the proud Salazar Slytherin putting the opening to the Chamber of Secrets in a bathroom). Unfortunately, the Mary Sue, aspect of the work becomes apparent rather quickly as Harry’s character is dramatically different and while logical and humorous, not particularly likable. Finally, the work seems to be intentionally way longer and more complicated than was necessary.

DESPERATE: HOPE FOR THE MOM WHO NEEDS TO BREATHE

By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

I really wanted to love this book, and had hoped that it could be helpful to me. It wasn’t. While the authors aptly describe the difficulties with being a stay-at-home mom, their solutions while valid are rather general and vague (ex: make your home a peaceful environment, don’t isolate yourself at home). Frankly, a lot of their solutions are out of reach for the most “desperate” of mothers who lack the funds for such things as babysitting, or housekeeping. So too, their reminders that this season of life when we have children under three or four won’t last forever, is not particularly helpful for those who expect to have a large family and perhaps have a child under three for the next twenty years or so. Nota Bene: This book is not written for those who work outside of the home and seems to disparage those who willingly make this choice. If you are looking for a helpful book on bringing peace to your life as a mother, skip this one and check out A Mother’s Rule of Life, for concrete and helpful suggestions.

TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD

By Harper Lee

Inspired by our trip down south in February, I moved To Kill a Mockingbird to the top of my “to be read in 2015″ list. Less than a day later I had finished it. Such a fantastic book; probably my favorite piece of American Literature from the 20th century. I feel like anything I have to say about it right now cheapens it, as if I haven’t earned the privilege yet. I would love to analyze the technical details of what it is that I enjoyed so much about Harper Lee’s style, but to do so would involve dissecting it into pieces and I am not ready to do that yet. Bottom Line: if you haven’t read it yet, get a copy pronto!

BUILDING A LIFE OUT OF WORDS

By Shawn Smucker

This book came at the perfect time for me. In it the author tells how he transitioned to freelance writing for a living after his painting business failed. While the primary thrust of the book deals specifically with life as a writer (to this end it includes several essays from others who make their living writing), at its core it is a book about following your dreams. I started reading it shortly after Nathan and I had made the leap and started our own business, and there were so many parts that any new small business owner could relate to. I especially liked the analogy to driving at night and only being able to see part of the way, but perhaps my favorite passage compared owning your own business to being an alien on a rollercoaster. A great book for writers, business owners, and dreamers alike.

THE POWER OF HABIT: WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO IN LIFE AND BUSINESS

By Charles Duhigg

An excellent book for those who want to understand how habits operate on both a personal and institutional level. Very helpful for those who want to make or break new habits.

There are several other books that I have been reading lately that I hope to review about later (such as A Wrinkle in Time).

I also skim re-read All the Money in the World, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and the Nesting Place.

Linking up with Anne at ModernMrsDarcy.com for QuickLit, and Rachel of Efficientmama.com for Five Faves Wednesday. Happy Reading, may your books be plentiful and their plots engaging!

Have you been reading any good books lately? I’d love to hear about them, tell me in the comments!

The Gift You Might Need This Mother’s Day: Permission to Grieve

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I love the idea of Mother’s Day: families taking time to honor those special women who have given so much of themselves. My own mother did so much for my siblings and I, that celebrating her generous love for only one day seems inadequate.

For many people, mother’s day can serve as a painful reminder of loss. Perhaps some will be mourning the passing of their mother or grandmother for the first (or even twentieth) time. In other cases, the day serves as a reminder of the child unable to join the celebration through death or separation. Some struggle as they mark another year childless. Maybe, most painfully of all, the day harbors the regret of motherhood lost through abortion, or childhood lost to abuse or neglect.

It is at these times when presence and love are most anticipated and desired, that their absence is most keenly felt.

This mother’s day, perhaps the most important gift you can give yourself or a loved one is permission to grieve. No one wants to feel sad, especially on a day when happiness is expected, but feigned happiness is not very helpful in the long term.

In order to deal with emotions properly you have to give yourself permission to recognize them, and accept that they are there for a time. It is so important not to shame yourself for what you are feeling. Telling yourself, “I shouldn’t feel this way” does nothing to resolve the situation and only adds the burden of guilt. Find healthy ways to express these emotions, perhaps through writing a letter, creating a work of art, or talking with a loved one.

Although I am blessed that my mother is still living, my husband is not so fortunate. Mother’s Day has become one of the most difficult days of the year for him. A day when he needs to take time to grieve.

I have to confess in years past, I was not very supportive of this. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t choose to focus on celebrating me as mother of our growing family and his grandmothers, both of whom are still living.

Frankly, I was being selfish. He shows me in so many ways throughout the year how much he admires and respects all that I do as mother to our children – I was not in any way suffering from a lack of appreciation. I needed to recognize that he was unable to celebrate in the way that I expected and that he needed space to grieve. He needed me to take a step back and truly listen to what he was saying and give him the space to process all that he was feeling. Sometimes it is so difficult to show true compassion.

Broken down into its roots, compassion literally means “to suffer with” someone. Often we focus on doing whatever we can to try to make a person feel better, when in fact what they really need is someone to suffer with them. Suffering alongside someone reveals great love and can foster deepened intimacy.

One of the few good things about grief is that it is a sign of love. No one mourns what they are indifferent about.

I hope that tomorrow is a day of joy and celebration for you and your loved ones. But if it is not, I hope that you are able to mark the day in a way that is full of peace and connection with the loved ones around you. Take time to enter into the day according to whatever season of life you are in. Allow yourself and other’s to be fully present in whatever commemoration the current stage of life requires, even when that is out of step with others. As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:4, there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

This Mother’s day, I pray that any sorrow you may experience can give way soon to a time of profound joy.

P.S. Here are a few links to ideas that have been bouncing around in the back of my head, while writing this post:

http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2014/04/my-view-from-saturday/